Friday, August 12, 2011
Oh wait! You haven't!
I remind myself every day that Time IS our friend. Time is MY friend but it goes so quickly... Seems to just run by me as if on some great marathon, against the clock. Pushing, demanding, urging me to do more.
Oh, blog, how I missed you.
I can't believe that Sol is 14 months. The itty bitty tadpole looking thing that I so graciously hosted in my body for 274 days, is a mini man. His thick, black, wavy hair has morphed into a golden bronze afro. His long skinny legs have evolved into long, chunky munchkin limbs, with ever evolving "cuts" bearing testament to the strong muscles beneath the layers of milk and sweet potatoes. His smile remains, prompted only by his inner world, or a satisfying interaction with any one of the many people he initiates contact with daily. He is a whole world. His own likes and dislikes, standards and preferences, to color his young life.
Each morning, he sends me off with a sweet "bye bye". He understands our routine. Once mama grabs her bag, and kisses his forehead, she is going "bye bye". I needn't say a word.
She later returns, plays, kisses, and hugs abundantly until it is time for Scout the dog's nightly lullaby repertoire, the occasional "baba" of milk*, and the last good night kiss. At that point, I typically sniff his little neck, taking in the soft, clean aroma of a perfect being. I snuggle. I hold. I kiss. i tear up at the thought that each day he seems to learn something new in my absence.
Following my momentary melancholy, I beam proudly as I think that this little person is such a bright light for the world. He smiles, he shares, he laughs, he makes kissing sounds, and even hugs on request (if he likes you). He speaks, and understands. In the absence of actual words, he moves his hands to punctuate his thoughts as he babbles something I am sure must be of great importance. He resists being touched when he is not in the mood. He rests his head on your belly or chest, when he feels the need to be close. Just 14 months, and he is an entire universe in motion. [Here I stress "in motion", and remind myself of the random bumps and cantazos my poor baby has endured. Oh, the early walking phase.... when will it be over?!]
So while I may not have mastered the the role of Super Mami, the lovely domestic goddess/mama/wife extraordinaire, I have certainly learned- and am learning-to be the best mother I can possibly be. My son is a healthy, happy child who amazes me every single day of my life. He is amazing, and I am amazed at how much I have learned in so little time. And that, is super.
*Note to all my bottle haters, I will be responsible for making sure that my son's teeth don't rot. he is almost off of the damned thing. (She smiles).
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Alas, one of the many moments that I am sure we'll face as some of the players in our world scrutinize our parenting choices, has arrived. We are going to
We are out! To sit by the sea, and listen to the waves, and eat good food, and lounge! I need sun light and water asap! The joy of bringing a perfect, precious being into the world, does not necessarily mean adequate rest, fresh air, or sun light-- even in summer. Recovering from a C-section has made my transition into motherhood, and back to my self (albeit a new self) that much more challenging, so we are out!
I can't bear the thought of going back to work without having at least two weeks of changed scenery and aire distinto. Word.
Bueno, nos fuimos, and we all survived.
Ultimately, this experience has simply proven that he will grow and adapt to the circumstances he is placed in. It is his nature.... or maybe it's human nature.
There is no manual for child rearing, and while we should of course take reasonable precautions and always put his health and safety first, we should not limit his experience based on the fact that he is a "baby". He is a person and will grow and learn wherever he is in the world. He is also a spirit with this own destiny, blessings, and grace. He will walk many paths- first with, and then without us- and he will collect memories and lessons along all of them. That is one of the greatest blessings that God gives us, and he will have it as well. Traveling is one of the tools we have to collect these lessons.
David and I learned about our differing parenting philosophies, and how Solomon's needs sometimes differ from what we think he needs. We also learned to let go of our fears and focus on what's good in the world, and building our strength to survive what isn't. Solomon spent the last days of his third month communing with Yemaya and Ixchel on the beach. He had his first bubble bath (with organic, baby friendly bubbles of course) with mom, and made friends with a World Cup champion.
We survived a tropical storm but we also released a baby sea turtle into his natural habitat. We sent little Farai off with a prayer for a long, fruitful life, and absorbed the cheers and laughter of all of the children who released their turtles, one by one, into the sea. I held Farai (the baby turtle) on Solomon and Khalid's behalf, and sent him off with a blessing for his survival and a prayer for my son, and all of us.
May Solomon's life be marked by as much love and protection as this day was for the 60 plus turtles which were released by children from all over the world, on the shores of Puerto Morelos. May Ixchel bless the turtles and the children, from her shrine just across the coral reef. May all of our lives be rich and fruitful, like the countless Mayan women who sung on these shores in honor of Ixchel hundreds of years ago. May all of our people be free, and our Earth protected from our vices and errors.
Amazing how one small act can fill you up.
The spirit of all of the children's acts of liberation- releasing their baby turtles lovingly into their true habitat, and wishing for their survival- that will mark Solomon's first trip abroad. The fresh energy of all of the newly born turtles and of the day will remind us that each day is a gift, and an act of love.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Above all, it has been a blessing to have Solomon exposed to pure, unadulterated love. As he grows, we grow. In love, in spirit, in patience and understanding with him and ourselves.
And his body is growing so quickly. Though he is still wearing newborn sizes, his transition to 0-3 months, has me teary eyed. I get all choked up when I see his teenie weenie newborn clothes and remember his little face as we struggled our way through the first few days of feeding. He has a grown baby face now. His features are already starting to change, as his body has.
He still looks like a mini-David, but his nose is definitely a combination of Nini and David. Amazing how genes work.... he has his great grandmother's nose... and his great grandfather's forehead. The prominent Alba face structure, with David's chino eyes, and wide nose. Nini's bridge. His color is changing and he is actually getting lighter rather than darker. His hair his starting to shed, as well.
He smiles now, and recognizes our voices. He is totally of us. Not ours, but an extension of everything that has come before us, and everything that will be.
A family grows...
Monday, June 28, 2010
We are still discovering him. I know that he is calm and fierce. Sweet and serious.
Eating is serious business. My breasts can testify. You would not believe how this itty bitty boy swings his fists and neck to get at me when he is hungry. Yet another testament to the fact that we are animals.... born with the most basic instincts. He pulls and prods, and understands that he must do so to get what he needs: MILK!!!
I never realized that this might be the most painful part of motherhood... for now.
The industrial milk pump doesn't help my cause. It's baby boy (aka the milk monster) on tap, or no milk at all. Okay, we can get drops maybe but he is the ultimate milk extractor. Wow. Nature.
Other than that, I love his smell-- and his skin. Both are soft and perfect. I can still feel his delicate little bones through the delicate layer of not yet fatty, baby skin. I am afraid to hold him sometimes, for fear I might break him. He's too precious, and I am in love. Totally smitten. so is David.
We are both a little sleep deprived, and my only job right now is pretty much feeding, changing, and bathing the bebo. Important things. I didn't realize that this would be about all I actually had energy for.
How quickly things change.
It is humbling and wonderful to shift consciousness and understand that it is his world. We are just his guides. and how blessed we are to discover life and it's meaning through his eyes.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Term is used for high ranking and powerful official in the Muslim world.
Farai [Farr-eye](Bantu-Karanga/Shona of Zimbabwe) Rejoice. "He Who Rejoices or Brings Joy".